Baby math is weird. Full term is 40 weeks which is 10 months – (40/4 weeks = 10 months) I think to make women feel better they just say 9 months because most don’t deliver on their due date. Let’s not forget the women that deliver late – oh good Lord, that’s over 10 months of growing a person inside of you – so weird, creepy, and uncomfortable! The whole pregnancy length is built on LIES! Thinking phew, 9 months, we can do that. Then BAM – it’s actually 10 months, double digits… good call on telling us pregnancy only lasts 9 months.

According to my baby app (Baby Bump), I’m 27 weeks today. It’s day 189 of the pregnancy. I’m due in 91 days – which is exactly 13 more weeks. Our baby girl is due in 13 weeks. 91 DAYS PEOPLE!!!! 3 months, 91 days, 2184 hours, 131040 minutes…… that is so close, and yet so far away.

On Saturday, I got to take the dreaded Glucose test which has to be done between weeks 26 – 28. I kept hearing how awful the drink was and then when I found out I had to get my blood drawn three times and sit at the blood lab for 2+ hours which just made my Saturday anticipation even better. I dropped Brice off for coffee with the guys a little before 9:00 am. The lab opened at 9:00 am (no appointments taken, you just have to go in) so I thought, ‘Sweet, I’ll get there right when they open and get this process started!’ I walked in at 9:05 to a packed waiting room. I found out later people had been lined up waiting to get in at 8:00 am! I thought – dang, people can’t be THAT excited to get poked with a needle can they??

Anyways – I took a number and experienced a flashback to DMV lines as the machine spit out my small paper ticket. #118. Really? For 9:05 am on a Saturday! Come on!! Oh well, I had to take this test and the thought of taking 2+ hours off of work to come back during the week to sit around didn’t sound like a feasible option so I stuck it out. Plus – you have to fast for 8 hours before this test and I’d already went to bed a little hungry so the last thing I wanted to do was not eat again 🙂 #foodspiral

My number was called at 9:48 am. Yes, I know down to the minute because it was breakfast time and all I could have was delicious and oh so filling water! I headed back and was sat down as she started pulling out needles. Fun fact – I cry every time a get a shot or see needles coming at me or think about having a needle poked in my skin. I hate them. Almost more than spiders, ALMOST. If Fear Factor made me choose one over the other, I’m pretty sure I would just quit or choose death.

Well Saturday was a day for new things – I didn’t cry once! She told me to ‘go to my happy place’ and as previously described in a past post, I thought about Brice’s smiling face in West Virginia, then about sunshine, then about the beach, warmth, enter fun summertime spiral! Before I knew it, she was done. Easy Peasy. Next, she gave me the dreaded red drink and at first mini-chug it wasn’t that bad. It tasted like Fruit Punch and Sprite mixed together. Once I got to the final quarter of the bottle, it started feeling extra sweet and thick. I thought about gagging but just chugged it down in a swift motion as if finishing quickly would make me the Glucose Test Queen! Done. I was told to come back at 10:48 & 11:48 and they would draw a vile of blood each time. Great. Sounds fun. Enter sarcastic tone here. Can’t wait to see you in an hour.

Each time I came back to give away more of my precious blood nary a tear was shed. Phew – made it through the tough part. The whole delivering a baby thing will be easy now that I can give blood without crying (note that my hands were clenched, I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes, and my breathing sounded like Darth Vader)! *In case you don’t get my humor – totally joking on this one, I know pushing a 7-10 lb baby out of my lady bits will be much, much harder*

I also had to take a urine test which apparently my body wanted no part of. I drank 25 oz of water before I got to the lab. I made my first attempt after the tech took my initial blood sample. No luck. The faucet was dripping, which I thought would help, but surprisingly it had the adverse effect. Oh well, I’ll drink more water and try again. 2nd time back – nothing. I got the bathroom with the extra tall toilet which caused my legs to dangle off the edge like sitting on a dock down on Ruston. I admitted defeat and left determined to give my sample today.

I chugged 50 oz of water during my final hour. Brice met up with me and asked what was for lunch. At this point it was 11:15 and I hadn’t eaten in 12 hours and I’d drank 75 oz of water. I might have snapped at him a little bit as I pointed out these stats and told him he’d have to suffer with me for the next 30 mins while I waited to get stabbed in the arm for a 3rd time that day. Thankfully, he obliged and we just hung out, shared laughs & old stories, and discussed the day for the next half hour. As we were walking in, he made me laugh so hard that I just knew the pee was coming!! I ran back to give them my blood and try my bathroom luck one final time.

Peeing in a cup is a lot harder as a female than a male. It’s not like we can just point the hose and have at it! I found the best position possible, thinking dang, I should have brought the SheWee my mother-in-law got me for Christmas a few years back, and then wham! The angles started singing Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, halleeee lu jah! *hopefully you just sang that jingle in your head* The flood gates opened and I would never have to come back to the dreaded lab during this pregnancy! Yay!

I got the results of the test back today – NO GESTATIONAL DIABETES!!! Woohoo!!! I was super nervous about it honestly. They said I was healthy as a lamb for the most part. I am a bit low on iron but thankfully that’s an easy fix. I’m headed to the store tonight to get iron supplements based on the docs’ recommendation 🙂  Everything else looks great. I was going to be super bummed if I had to watch my sugar intake because Brice knows of my grand love of fluffy donuts so usually for my birthday (6/25), anniversary (5/30), or random Sunday breakfast in bed I’m served a giant tower of donuts that I could never eat alone, but I love because I can take a bite out of each one to satisfy all my donut desires. That joy is just one thing I’m not ready to give up!