I took the first round of Cytotec at 3:00 pm, the second round at 6:00 pm, then at 9:00 pm before they could give me the third and final dose, things started to happen…

Before I continue I want to give a little background. We decided to go the midwife route with this pregnancy… Yes, we live on the West Coast. Yes, I’ve always thought midwives were a bit granola. Yes, I had the best experience of my life with my midwife. At one of my first doctor’s appointments, I was told we would need to choose to have a doctor or a midwife.

As many of us do, I stereotyped. I always thought that midwives weren’t real doctors and could only hold my hand, tell me to breathe, and would try to convince me to give birth at my home in a pool. Well, 1. I live in an apartment and I ALWAYS get my deposit back so home birth was out. 2. I decided to be open-minded and hear the benefits of both sides before making an informed decision.

Side Note: Isn’t that what we should do across the board with things anyways instead of instantaneously stereotyping someone and dismissing them before finding out the truth. Well – I’m so glad I listened.

Unashamedly, my first question about going the midwife route was “Can she give me an epidural??” The nurse laughed and said of course! Naturally, my second question was “Do I have to give birth at home or in a pool, or can I have my baby at a hospital?” Again I was met with laughter and a kind “No one has to give birth in a pool unless they really want to. And of course, you can deliver in a hospital!” It sometimes surprises me how unashamed I am of asking the questions that I want to know or speaking my mind with no regard to how the other person will judge me for my thoughts. #NoShameInMyGame

Long story short – we decided to go with a midwife for many reasons, a primary one being they are able to spend more time with you and discuss the delivery options available in depth. At 9:00 pm on July 8th, I was super proud and happy with our choice! The midwife came in, checked out my nether regions & counted my contractions, which still weren’t very painful and said – “Your body is getting ripe and ready on its own. Let’s wait on your 3rd dose of Cytotec and see if you progress on your own.” I was glad she was willing to wait, as from what I had been told, a doctor would have given me the next round or Pitocin to hurry things up and I was ok with waiting. As soon as she left, real talk here, I had to poop. I walked to the bathroom, relieved my bowels, and then BAM! Evidently, if you need contractions to get stronger and start hurting, a little trip to the bathroom will do the trick.

As soon as I finished and sat back down on the bed – pain. All the pain. It felt pinching and painful. From then on out contractions were no longer a fun thing to watch on the monitor as the squiggle line got bigger & longer. It felt like someone was punching me in the gut with tiny scissors. Ahhh the joys of having a baby – they say you forget the pain when the baby comes out! Lies. I still remember.

My contractions were getting stronger and I was starting to dilate on my own that I didn’t end up needing the third dose of Cytotec. Contractions continued to get harder as I labored through the night. They were still pretty spaced out so I would take a mini-nap in between the pain. Brice had a cot pulled up next to my bed and we fell asleep holding hands. I’d wake up for contractions, squeeze his hand, and occasionally have a single tear trickle down my face. It was hard for Brice to see my pain, and not be able to do anything about it.

I think he’s hardwired to want to fix things for me. If I’m in pain or have a problem, he always tries to fix it or make it all better. Unfortunately it wasn’t an option this time 😦 After a couple of hours, the midwife decided to give me a small dose of Pitocin for about 30 mins to see if that help my contractions get going even harder. Geez woman, I get it – I’ve gotta feel the pain – don’t help it along!

That night was filled with some crazy things. I remember walking the halls because you’re supposed to move around to help get dilated, intensify contractions, and get the baby outta there. Brice and I would walk down the hall and when I could feel a contraction coming, it felt like a slow punch to the gut then stab stab STAB, we’d stop, hold each other, and sometimes I would cry and other times I would just squeeze him as tight as I could as if to say – this is all your fault, we should have adopted lol. At some point in the middle of the night, my dad came and walked the halls with us.

They say when your first kid is born you realize your life will never be the same. For us – that “things will never be the same” moment came before Blayke was born. It came as I was in between contractions (still not dilated past 5cm) and needed to poop again. I decided that as soon as a contraction ended, I’d run to the bathroom and try to squeeze it out before the next contraction started about 2-3 mins later. I made it to the bathroom while Brice waited outside the door. My breathing started getting heavy, the way it did right before a contraction was about to start, as I was sitting on the toilet.

So there, in all my glory in the wee hours of the morning, our marriage changed forever and things will never be the same. Brice came into the bathroom and held my hand while he munched on beef jerky as I sat in an unflattering gown, pooping, a breathing heavily through arguably one of the most painful contractions I had had all night. I was soooooo happy we were no longer newlyweds because instead of pure mortification – we made eye contact once the contraction ended and died laughing!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 That was definitely not how I imagined labor would be lol.

All night the midwife had been checking back in with me to see how I was doing and if I was ready to move to the labor and delivery room. Finally, around 5:30am I was dilated 5 cm and was ready to change rooms. By now contractions were pretty steady, painful, and had about 1-2 minutes between each contraction. If things would have gone as we planned, THIS is when we would have thrown the go-bag in the car and rushed to the hospital. We took the slow walk down what felt like the longest hallway ever. My heart was bursting through my chest. This was the point of no return now (as if that hadn’t already happened)… The next time we saw this hallway, we would be parents. Parents. Mom & Dad. Mother & Father. Daddy & Mommy. A little girl’s ol’ man and momma.