The next time we saw this hallway, we would be parents. Parents. Mom & Dad. Mother & Father. Daddy & Mommy. A little girl’s ol’ man and momma. Sh*t just got real. Way too real. But there was no stopping it now. It was go time.

The labor and delivery room was much larger than our other room so I had space to walk around, a large exercise ball to sit on, and places to stretch if needed. It was 5:30 am and the sun was just starting to rise. Our room had massive oval windows that glowed with the early golden light. Brice grabbed the exercise ball and put it in front of a window for me. I sat and stared out the window looking over the city that I love glistening in the morning hue.

My eyes started to water as I thought about all of the friends we have made over the past 5 years. Our move to Tacoma from Kentucky was one of the best decisions we have ever made, but also one of the scariest decisions – now trumped by the decision to have a baby 😉 Looking over the city we call home, in the midst of labor pains, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace as I tangibly felt enveloped in support and love from our friends and family. We would not be alone on this journey of parenthood. We wouldn’t be stuck in our house unable to leave because we were trapped by parental obligation without anyone to turn to for help. With those thoughts in mind, part 3, the closing act, the grand finale no longer scared me. I was ready for this little nameless girl to enter the world!

At this point, I had been feeling contractions since 9 pm the night before with minimal rest. I knew there was still a ways to go so I opted to go ahead and get an epidural so I could get some rest. That sounds counterproductive – rest while having contractions – but an epidural makes all things possible! The woman that gives out epidurals will forever be known to me as the magical pain goddess!!!

I hate needles ALMOST more than spiders, so she made sure I never saw the needle she was going to use on my back. Many people told me horror stories on how their epidural didn’t work right or how only half of their body was numb so they experienced labor pains on the other half their body. All horrible things to tell a pregnant woman that would have to face the music in the pre-finale of labor. Thankfully, my experience was nothing short of perfect. Zero pain giving me the epidural, totally numb but still able to move my legs & feet with an occasional need for help, and then boom – I fell asleep and got a solid 3 hour nap once the medicine kicked in.

The next couple hours are a blur. I remember family & friends wanting to come in the room and just sit with me. It was pretty nice to feel the love even while I slept. I napped until about 9:30, then until about noon I just “hung out”. Brice caught up on some sleep, I watched Friends on the laptop, checked out social media, talked with family & friends, and pretty much relaxed as I was no longer in pain during contractions. Pure sorcery. Not going to lie – the scene in our room looked nothing like I had built it up in my mind. I had envisioned yelling, pain, suffering, telling Brice “This is your fault! Why did you do this to me!?!” and shouting profanities as my body went through the transition to motherhood.

The scene was not even close to that. It was like the upside-down. But where anticipated bad was good. Around noon, the midwife *side note – since it had now passed the 7:00 am switch change, my new midwife was a woman I had seen a few times during my pregnancy and I loved her and felted so pumped she was the one to bring Blayke into the world!* came in to check my downstairs to see if things were ready to start pushing this little nugget out. The room emptied of all visitors so Brice & I were left alone to hear the status. She took a quick peek and boom – it was go time!

Both the pregnancy and birth processes
were the total opposite of
 how I imagined they would be – and man, am I glad.

I pictured myself working out 3x a week during pregnancy and stuffing my face with cheeseburgers and slushies. Instead I got out of breathe and had diabetes.

I pictured birth rushing to the hospital while leaking baby stuff all over the jeep and then screaming in a wheelchair as they pushed me to a room where I’d sweat, scream, and cry while squeezing Brice’s hand as our little girl entered the world in a blurry mess. Instead, I went wake surfing 9 days past my due date, walked in to the hospital 12 days past due, enjoyed my favorite tv show, played an eclectic blend of music from a poop emoji-shaped speaker, laughed with my husband, midwife, and nurse while staring down a picture of Brice & I on the summit of Mt. Rainier as a tiny human being exited my body. I am so happy my anticipated expectations were different than my reality.

From around 12:30 pm – 2:25 pm, I was in active/pushing labor. I was on the bed and had a sweet bar to hold and at times a towel wrapped around the bar to grab when it was time to push. Our midwife, Emily, would see a contraction coming and tell me to push 3 times. She said, “You can either make this sound *enter super low/weird/guttural sound* or hold your breath each time you push”… OBVIOUSLY, I went with holding my breath because I would just laugh at myself trying to mimic the sound she had made. She’d see a contraction coming on the monitor, tell me to get ready, at which point I’d grab Brice’s hand, and then squeeze and push push push!

Anyone who even halfway knows me knows how competitive I can be, so naturally when Emily told me to get 3 pushes in each time. I did 4 pushes, every once in a while 5. *gotta be a winner* As if 4 pushes made me more of a champ then those who push 3 times. I don’t know. Anyways, in between contractions we played music from a poop shaped speaker we got during last years dirty Santa game… jokes on whoever bought it – that was the best Christmas present ever! The music ranged from rap to country. A few of my favs from my pre-made playlist entitled “Baby B – Pump Up!” were:

Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
Ignition (Remix) by R. Kelly
The Man (fondly changed to the WOman during labor) by Aloe Blacc
Everything by Michael Buble
The Promise by Sturgill Simpson *The song that was playing when Blayke was born*

Our room was cloaked in a peaceful serenity that I can’t put into words (it feels like I’m describing a yoga session not a childbirth, but it’s the truth). Brice & I have had some pretty epic experiences together. The 2 hours of pushing though – man. Hands down one of my favorite experiences we’ve ever shared. He fed me ice chips, we cracked jokes, he held my hand, we shared stories from our relationship with the midwife and nurse, we locked eyes, he cheered me on, he was my biggest advocate, he blushed at my music choices, we made Friends references, and overall he was simply an encouraging, strength-filled presence of embodied love. His face showed pain as I struggled to push as if he was metaphorically pushing with me. We were in this together.

I had swore up and down that a mirror in the birth room was a bad, BAD idea. I didn’t want to see my happy place become a war zone! When it came down to it though, curiosity got the best of me. I looked. And surprisingly, I don’t regret my decision. It’s a view I’ll never be able to shake, and oddly enough I don’t want to. Our midwife was in for the long haul, with us until the end. Our nurse, Indra, was given multiple opportunities to leave, take a break, go get lunch, but yet she remained. She held my hand, and was another voice of strength during labor. I’m so grateful for the dedication and support of the staff at St. Joes. It made our experience even more incredible.

*Disclaimer –
gonna get a little gross for a second so skip the next couple paragraphs if you want*

Baby B was born at 2:25 pm. Once she entered the world things were a blur. Brice cut the cord, we cried, she cried (arguably the best sound ever because it relieves the final worry you have during the birth process), but then more and more people started coming into our room. I looked down as Blayke was laid on my chest. When I looked up Brice was gone and there were about 10-12 nurses in the room. They were calling for a doctor to come in. Immediately, I was scared. Indra was holding my hand saying everything was ok, while another nurse was trying to get Blayke to latch on to me to get her first meal in her new world as I frantically searched for Brice who was moved out of the way of staff rushing to my aide.

Apparently I had started bleeding at a pretty quick rate and hemorrhaging was a concern. I was told that I needed to push again (I freaked out for a split second thinking, “holy crap, is there another baby in there???”). This word still grosses me out so I’ll say it once and then refer to it as Plac – placenta. The final part of birth is passing the plac. Mine would not come out. They all but WWE body slammed my stomach to try and get it out. They were worried there was a tear or something because of the blood I was losing. My body started shaking really bad. It got to the point where Blayke was eating and I shook so hard she slid down on my chest – thankfully she had her own nurse to hold onto her! I kept shivering/shaking – which, unknown to me at the time, is normal but still pretty freaky.

They ended up having to take Blayke off of me so I could sit up and full on push this plac outta me. It was like birth round 2. It was weird and I was totally unprepared. Once it came out, 45 minutes later, the bleeding stopped. Thankfully I was totally fine, and I didn’t end up losing a ton of blood. What was so initially concerning was the rate at which I was bleeding. All in all – I was all good. I had an abnormally large plac that had an extra little pocket. I unashamedly asked – “Was there another baby in there that just hadn’t developed?” Nope. Phew – but now I’m mentally on high twin alert if we have another babe! Dang, a large plac. That’s probably why Blayke stayed in there for so long, she had all the room she needed and more 😉

Baby B was nameless for a solid 19 hours – the curse of indecisive parents hehe. We couldn’t decided on a name. We had 3 options that I couldn’t decide on until we saw her. Once we looked at her, we STILL couldn’t decide. Geez – naming a person is hard. You don’t want to give her a potential stripper name, but you also have to factor in how cool it will sound in 20 years. If we went based off of trendy names for 2017, she’ll be running around with a bunch of Luna’s, Emma’s, and Ava’s. She needed her own unique appellation.

My family had been in town for 15 days and were leaving the next day. Needless to say, the anticipation of this little nugget had been a long time coming. Especially since she took her sweet time entering the world! Brice & I wrestled all evening and into the wee hours of the morning to decide on a name. Doctors started coming in to the room to check on us and the nameless nugget at 7:00 am the next day. We HAD to decide before my family arrived at the hospital to say goodbye before they had to go catch their flight back to Pennsylvania. With barely a minute in between doctors, hearing tests, paperwork, shots, etc, we were running out of time. The family arrived and we had to make a decision. Brice said he didn’t want to make the final call – she came out of me, so I got the final choice. Talk about pressure!!

He went out to get my family and said I had to pick before they got into the room. My heart was racing. It felt like the final seconds on a basketball game shot clock, the last 3 steps you take before reaching the summit, the final foot plant before launching the soccer ball in a shoot out penalty kick. I could hear the door opening, then the curtain pulled back, my siblings and parents filling the room eagerly anticipating my introduction. The silence was palpable. I could feel my blood pumping through my veins as I looked down at the tiny person in my arms. I took a deep breath and introduced her for the very first time.

“I’d like you to meet,”  long pause…

“Blayke Louise Burton”